The Big Answer

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Dr. John Pollard has written Self Parenting and The Self Parenting Program. The books are a wealth of knowledge on how to take responsibility for reversing the effects of inadequate parenting experienced as a child. He teaches us to have sessions in which we nurture our inner self in the direction of happy, creative aliveness. Blaming parents won’t help, nor will giving up and rationalizing that if you didn’t get the nurturing you needed, you probably didn’t deserve it. Finding a way to fill needs so you aren’t crippled by needfulness (if you still feel a desire to be cared for) or deadness (if you’ve numbed yourself to all feelings because of the pain of past deprivations) can be a lifesaving process of renewal, restored hope and happiness.

Pollard has given us this self-actualization tool to allow us to transform from being at effect to being at cause, regardless of past deprivation. He strongly recommends P.E.T. books as an adjunct to self parenting, as they help you learn to be a good “outer” parent so that your “inner” parent can use this example to emulate as it nurtures your inner being. Very comprehensive and detailed guidance is included in these two books. Don't forget to enhance your social networks so they support your being.