Personal Status Board,status board,PSB Pro Version,PSB,PHP empowered communication,parenting,social evolution,social connectedness,social connections,social connection,the social connection,social connectedness,social evolution,social network,social network software,online social networks,social networking tools,online social networking,social network site,online social network,the social network,networks social,business social network,business social networking,business social networks,social business network
email others
link to us
Home     MCs     Novel     Articles     MC Matching     Magic Carpet     Products & Services     Contact Us     Links

Authoritative and Democratic Parenting Programs
(Comparison Chart)


Send us your questions and comments.

site search by freefind


Free Personal Status Boards (PSB™)

Free Standard Free PSB

Free PSB Pro Version

Free Social PSB

Free Social PSB Plus (with Email)

Free Business PSB

Free Business PSB Plus (with Email)

PSB demo

Social PSB demo

Business PSB demo

So what's all this PSB stuff about?

Chart comparing business status boards

PSB hosting diagram

PSB Licence Agreement

Copyright © 2002 -
MCS Investments, Inc. sitemap

The Big Answer

To link to this article from your blog or webpage, copy and paste the url below into your blog or homepage.

The Inner Parent: Raising Ourselves, Raising Our Children - Personal Growth & Family Patterns

a book by Susan Isaacs and Marti Keller

(our site's book review)

As Charles Reich’s The Greening of America is to corporate America, Isaac’s and Keller’s book The Inner Parent is to American parenthood. It’s a turning away from the superficial and the material and the expert. It’s the invalidation of the establishment experts. It’s the shifting of the balance from reason to intuition, material to spiritual, outer to inner, and heroic individualism to community and intimate connectivity. All the books that turned away from the establishment’s superficialities and experts and engaged in what the authors call “the deep revolution” were signs of the time, when establishment types were they and the rest of us baby boomers—trying to use Herman Hesse books or other books to get out from “Beneath the Wheel”—were the we.

Unfortunately for those times (the late 60s and the 70s) in general and this book in particular, the rebellious spirit and high octane idealism were not then nor are they now sufficient to guide anyone with very much clarity or precision. Reading this book in 1979 when it came out, one would see that it had trend-appropriate New-Age sentiments and spouted all the right anti-materialistic cliches to qualify it as a liberal we book rather than an establishment they book. But one would get a strange mixture of good and bad advice—the type that was so omnipresent in books of the genre. The books were fairly good at indicating what we were to run from, but were lacking when it came to proclaiming what we were to run to. And this book in particular fell on its face several times in both the run-to and run-from areas.

By overgeneralizing that the experts had “all” let us down, the authors put the advice of Benjamin Spock (some was right, some was wrong) and Thomas Gordon (none was wrong, all was right) in the same basket. It’s obvious that had these authors actually tried using each of these books as parenting guides for a year of their lives, they’d have found that Spock was pushing some obsolete, nonworkable ideas, whereas they’d have found that Gordon’s guidance was invaluable in helping them not only parent but in helping all the relationships in their lives work much better.

Worse yet, advocating reliance on parenting “instincts” as preferable to the known scientific facts of how to parent with excellence would have had some validity in the 60s before Gordon’s P.E.T. books came out, but once they did in fact come out, they represented parenting methodology that was far superior to anything instincts and intuitions could provide. In truth, one of the main things that was going wrong with parenting then and now is that people were assuming that they were born with parenting knowledge and that there was nothing to learn. The incredible amounts of bad parenting, abuse, neglect, and misparenting symptoms that have emerged in our culture since this parenting instinct advice was given give clear testimony to the fact that parenting is indeed a learned skill, and that most of those who learn it by hook or by crook, without any decent guidance to help them, find out the hard way that:

This woman is waiting for her 'instincts' to kick in and save the day, but they haven't, and only anger and frustration are surfacing
This woman is waiting for her 'instincts' to kick in and save the day, but they haven't, and only anger and frustration are surfacing