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The Big Answer

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Child Care Practices Anteceding Three Patterns Of Preschool Behavior

an article in Genetic Psychology Monographs by Diana Baumrind

(our site's article review)

Child-rearing practices associated with competence in the preschool child were studied. A group of kids who were self-reliant, self-controlled, explorative, and content were identified. The child-rearing practices of their parents were compared to those of parents whose kids were discontented and distrustful, and parents whose kids were immature and dependent. Parents of the most mature kids were controlling, demanding, communicative, and nurturing, while parents of discontented kids were non-nurturing, and parents of immature kids were non-controlling.

The idea that you can only get mature kids from controlling them is, of course, silly, as Thomas Gordonís P.E.T. users and Alfie Kohnís Unconditional Parenting users both know all too well. See The Effects of Parental Firm Control: A Reinterpretation of Findings.